• DATE OF FLIGHT- DECEMBER 24, 2007(Z)
• FROM:-Workshop- North Pole International
• TO:- Girls and Boys Everywhere
• DEPARTURE TIME(Z):- 0000(Z)
• ARRIVAL TIME(L):- 0001(Z)
• FLIGHT TIME:- Blink of an eye...
• EQUIPMENT:- Antique Wood/Leather/Steel Sleigh w/ 8 Reindeer
• COM CHANNEL:- 145.8 mhz FM (Shared with International Space Station)
• RADAR IFF:- SANTA-001
• PILOT:- S.Claus
• AIR MARSHALL:- Elf Woodrow

NARATIVE SECTION- FLIGHT INFO/ SECURITY UPDATE- December 5, 2007/2000(Z)

1. SECURITY- Again this year, Santa's Chief Elf, Woodrow, is serving as a sleigh-martial this year with his toy gun, sling-shot and magic security technology.

2.MAINTENANCE ITEM- Good News! The problem last year, with the on-board flight computer (a converted video game) that squawks his IFF radar ID on radar screens has been solved. As you rember it was showing images of cyber warriors on Santa's on-board display when the reins are pulled sharply to the left.

3.MILITARY COVER AIRCRAFT- The in-flight re-fueling plan for the Military Fighter Escorts worked well in 2002 and has been updated to give worldwide air forces an even better chance to keep up with Santa this year. There was some embarassment when visual contact with Santa's Sleigh was periodically "lost" last year. As you know it is faster than most fighter aircraft and has special stealth technology options..

4.ANTI-MISSLE DEFENSE- New anti-missile/RPG defensive measures have been added, the mylar metalized foil chaf has been replaced by an alien reverse-engineered device from Area 51 that harmlessly vaporizes hostile devices, turning them into endangered wiildlife and plants carefully placed on earth. Still rumors persist that there are offensive weapons on-board, this is not true. Potential Terrorists and Other Eviil Dooers are just placed on the "naughty" list permanently!.

5.SPACE STATION LIASON- The International Space Station Expedition 8 Crew's Christmas Gifts are already hidden behind the seats of the Russian escape vehicle docked at the Station. There aparently has been a mix-up about the waist size of Santa's red suit and the NASA air-lock demensions. If the opportunity presents itself, Greg, WB6FZH, will try and wish the resident Astronauts "Merry Christmas" on a VHF Ham Radio Set.

6.CELL PHONE- This year Santa will be using his GPS/Video Cell Phone again, it is used to coordinate his deliveries with the North Pole Workshop and allow Mrs.Claus to constantly monitor his location. Mrs.Claus has been concerned from time to time about length of Santa's "deliveries" near Women's College Dorms, The Playboy Mansion and certain locations in Sweeden.

7.LAW ENFORCEMENT - Several Police Departments around the world will be again broadcasting special bulletins to avoid a replay of the 1998 "detention" of Santa when he was "exchanging" a damaged toy at a Toys R Us store in Milwalkee at 3AM.

8.GIFT RETURNS- Santa did get your request and if it does not fit, just return it to Sears or Fredrick's of Hollywood as appropriate.

END OF 2005 FLIGHT INFO/SECURITY BULLETIN

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Last Updated: November 30, 2007

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